I expect you’re wondering what on earth that is.

Well, the first time I became aware of it was many years ago when I used to look after my young nephew for the weekend. He would have been about nine or ten and invariably wore a pair of those grey marl jogging bottoms, which were as common as shellsuits in those days.

He would come back from the toilet and a small, but very noticeable, wet patch would appear on the front of his pants. I used to chide him for not finishing the job properly because he was too busy rushing to get back to the cartoons on tv. But he swore blind that he had ‘given it a good shake’ before putting it away.

Through the research that I have been doing into Kegel and pelvic floor exercises, I now understand the medical condition behind what became an embarrassing occurrence on a regular basis as he got older.

Post micturition dribble or PMD is the involuntary loss of urine a short while after the main event has been completed and should not be confused with the little spurt that occurs a few seconds after the main stream has finished.

This, and more serious forms of incontinence, can occur as a result of prostate surgery and neurological damage. But, by far the most common and most easily prevented cause is the weakening of the pelvic floor due to lack of exercise.

The bulbospongiosus muscle (formerly known as the bulbocavernosus) is one of the muscles of the perineum and is involved in erection, ejaculation and urination. During the greater part of micturition, its fibres are relaxed but, at the end of the process, it comes into action to help to force the contents of the urethra to empty.

If it malfunctions, a small amount of urine remains unvoided – an accident waiting to happen, the moment that you start moving. Because this one muscle is involved in both sexual and urinary functions, research is being compiled to discover if suffering with post micturition drip naturally predisposes the sufferer towards problems with maintaining erection and successful ejaculation.

In order to completely empty the urethral canal, the sufferer should forcefully suck up his pelvic floor two or three times immediately after he has finished emptying his bladder.

In Kegel and pelvic floor exercises for men, it is this bulbospongiosus muscle that is more important than the pubococcygeus and it needs to be retrained for both endurance and strength.

The former can be achieved by gently lifting, squeezing and then lowering the pelvic floor whilst walking but the latter involves isolating the bulbospongiosus from the pubococcygeus. This is most easily done by lying down comfortably on your back in a semi-supine position, with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor.

Place your fingertips on the perineum (the flat space that lies between your scrotum and your anus). Without moving your legs or tightening your belly or butt, lightly suck in your pelvic floor muscles so that your fingertips can feel movement. You should be able to breathe easily and will probably find it easiest to contract on the out breath at first.

Once you have mastered this, you can try a longer contraction, checking that you can maintain relaxation in the other muscles. You should aim to hold this contraction for ten seconds three times in the morning and again in the evening. Don’t forget to breathe slowly and deeply.

To help with my own research on this, I wonder if you would agree to complete the survey in the box above. All the answers remain strictly anonymous but, if you email me to let me know that you have taken part, I will give you more details about what I am up to and how you can benefit.

I booked an appointment to have my breasts examined at our local specialist Unit, which runs on a charitable basis outside the NHS. I’ve been having this done on and off since I was 20. The nurse manually palpates your tissue to check for lumps and shows you how to do so correctly for yourself each month. If she finds anything untoward, you will be referred for a mammogram.

This time, I was told that Unit policy now says that women under 50 should have a mammogram every year and those over 50 every other year. I last had one of these torturous tests over five years ago when I had a lump under my armpit.

This turned out to be a hormonal reaction by my breast tissue and the pain and size of the lump in the second half of every month was regulated by using Starflower or Evening Primrose Oil which contains gamma-linolenic acid (GLA). You can imagine that I was not terribly enthusiastic about being told that I had to repeat the process when I didn’t actually have a problem, especially as I was concerned about the risks of radiation exposure.

Since that last unpleasant experience, when my breast was squashed until it resembled a pitta bread and then squeezed between two plates like a piece of laundry being mangled, the quality of the specialist performing the mammograms and the improvement in machinery had increased dramatically. As a result, it was a relatively pain free experience.

Two films were taken of each breast, one from the front and one from the side. The view from two angles increases the chance of detection by 25% and I’m relieved to say that all came back clear.

However, I’m still not sure whether I like the idea of one of these tests every year until I’m 50 and then every other year thereafter, so I will continue to examine myself regularly and give it some more thought so that I am more prepared when they call me back again next year.

The national policy for the UK is a mammogram every three years for women over 50.

The problem is that having a mammogram every three years means that there is more of a risk that cancer could develop in between tests. However, being screened annually equates to exposing the woman to three times the amount of radiation as well as trebling the costs to the NHS.

Some studies have found a slight increase in the number of breast cancers detected in women who have annual screening but, because more women are now attending, this skews the figures so more research is needed in this area.

Addressing the issue of radiation, a mammogram is a type of X-ray and so you will be exposed to a small amount of this toxic substance. However, scientists have worked out that there is less than a 1 in 25,000 risk of a mammogram causing breast cancer.

According to Cancer Research UK, for every 1000 women screened, about 7 breast cancers will be found and these cancers are normally at an earlier stage when it is more likely to be curable. The concensus of doctors and researchers generally is that the benefits of finding breast cancer early far outweigh the small risk of radiation from the mammograms used to detect them.

There is currently little evidence that regular mammograms for women under the age of 47 can prevent death from breast cancer because their breast tissue is denser and so more difficult to read.

My screening was part of a UK trial offering yearly mammograms to women from the age of 40 or 41. Early analysis of this data shows that they do pick up some cancers in these younger women but it is not possible to say for sure whether this will save more lives because the results of this research will not be available for many years.

Records show that, of the 1.7 million women who took part in the UK screening programme in 2004/2005, only (5%) were recalled for more tests.

If there is the slightest doubt about your mammogram, but no real sign of cancer, you will be asked to come back for another screening after six months or a year and three out of every 100 women who have a second mammogram need to have further tests.

It is important to make sure that you know how your breasts normally look and feel, even if you are having mammograms regularly. Most breast cancers are still found by women themselves because cancers can show up between mammograms. This is known as an ‘interval cancer’.

If you notice any lumps or symptoms that could be due to breast cancer, don’t wait until your next mammogram.

See your GP straight away.

This article may be reproduced providing a hard link to the sites in the resource box is maintained.

For more information on how to examine your breasts yourself, click here

Instead of learning to love the person that we are.

We need to start embracing all our finer points and talking ourselves up every day.

Looking in the mirror and acknowledging all the good and positive things that we are:

What I am

I am lovable, capable and a unique human being

I am already worthy as a person, I don’t have to prove myself

I deserve the respect of others, I easily accept compliments and praise from others

What I am learning

I am learning to forgive myself and others

I am learning the more I love myself, the more I am able to love others

I am learning that it is not necessary for me to be liked or accepted by every important person in my life, for everything I do.

I AM GOOD ENOUGH

Why is it that the only things about ourselves that we truly value are those things that relate to other people? Kindness, helpfulness, empathy?

The approval of others is pleasant but not essential. In order to live life fully, we need to express ourselves, which means that at times we will do things of which others disapprove.

If we are constantly trying to avoid disapproval, we will either become passive individuals or people with a poor sense of self.

If, despite our efforts, we are disapproved of, the result can be devastating, because our self-esteem is based on what others think of us.

By trying to please everyone all the time, we paint ourselves into a corner as a non-person. Someone whose feelings don’t matter. Who will bend over backwards to avoid hurting another person and yet will allow that same person to inflict grievous wounds upon our own psyche without a challenge.

We need to recognise the things that are good about ourselves, traits that are unique to us, rather than being appealing to others. Courage and intelligence for a start.

And, more than anything, we need to learn to accept a compliment with a thank you and embrace it.

Not allow it to bounce off the positive jar into the abyss, whilst hoarding any negative critiques and regularly beating ourselves over the head with them.

Try chanting the mantra and listing all your positive qualities.

At a time when many of us are taking stock and resolving to do things differently, how about making 2010 the year when you learn to love the wo/man in the mirror.

I started to be affected by cystitis on a regular basis in my early forties.

I became so miserable in my marriage that I took a lover. The downside of something that, otherwise, made me incredibly happy was that the malady often known as ‘Honeymoon Sickness’ came to haunt me with a vengeance. Repeated love-making several times a day over a period of a long weekend would irritate my bladder, leaving me sore and peeing blood.

I could drink gallons of cranberry juice, plus those special sachets that you get from the chemist, and it would only control it. Never actually cause it to be totally gone.

Sometimes, I could feel the bacteria moving up into my kidneys and a course of antibiotics from the doctor would be the only solution to this infection. The side effect of repeated antibiotics is a nice dose of thrush and another trip to the chemist for a pessary of ‘that special cream’.

This in turn meant that the balance of the candida bacteria in my vagina was affected and I began to suffer regular break-outs as the sexual activity meant that these bacteria were transferred from my vagina to my urethra, setting up yet another urinary tract infection. It was a vicious circle.

Researching on the internet, I found a natural remedy in the form of a teaspoon of bicarbonate of soda mixed with water and drank several pints of the stuff during and after my weekends with my lover.

I started to recognise the symptoms that were the forerunners of a problem. With a hot water bottle on my belly, a couple of paracetamol for the pain and my glass of ‘soda’, I would recuperate on the couch for a few hours until the discomfort had passed and I was ready to participate once more.

I knew that I was going to pay big time for the following week when I went home, but I didn’t care. So long as I could enjoy my weekend, I was prepared to put up with it.

Because, again, this ‘cure’ only controlled things and the next urinary tract infection was always lurking in the wings. This was never more evident than if I drank too much alcohol (especially champagne) as I would suffer the consequences from this irritant too.

I put up with this state of affairs for a couple of years and then, quite by chance, I discovered Milk Thistle Complex with Boldo. The vicissitudes of my family life had caused me to reach such a stressful mental state that my skin began to erupt in the lesions of psoriasis on my arms, legs and body. I was devastated.

The doctor could only prescribe steroid creams, which soothed the current outbreak but didn’t stop any new patches from breaking through. They were like overgrowths of my skin cells, circular, dry and flaky. I had to find something that would pre-empt those eruptions.

The trusty internet was, once more, my friend and I found Milk Thistle. It is a member of the sunflower family and the active ingredient in its seeds is silymarin, which is an antioxidant. This means that it is able to remove toxic chemicals known as free radicals from the body. Free radicals cause cell damage which is the main cause of disease and premature aging.

But, more important than this, milk thistle detoxifies the liver, promoting the regeneration and repair of cells and protecting it from the damaging effects of alcohol and other toxins.

In addition, it has been shown to reduce inflammation and decrease excessive skin growth.

Whilst it has been reported that it can cause an upset stomach, there are very few known side effects, but you should consult a qualified medical professional before taking any milk thistle supplements.

Purely by chance, the first jar that I found at my local health shop was a ‘complex’. This means that, in addition to milk thistle, it contained tinctures of fresh artichoke leaves, dandelion herb and root, peppermint and another ingredient that I had never come across before – Peumus boldo dried leaf.

Boldo is a South American herb, the dried leaves of which are used to treat urinary tract infections. (Never take the essential oil internally as it is highly toxic!)

Within a fortnight of beginning to take a couple of these pills each day, my existing psoriasis had begun to clear up and no new patches had appeared.

Even better, I visited my lover and, despite being given a severe test over several days, my bladder seemed not to be affected in the same way.

Reassessing my life and removing all the areas of stress meant that the psoriasis seems to have disappeared as suddenly as it arrived and taking my Milk Thistle Complex on a regular basis has sorted out my cystitis. If I do feel the symptoms coming on over a weekend with my lover, I take an extra dose and it all returns to normal.

Again, you should consult with a qualified medical professional before using any homeopathic supplements.

This article can be used on other relevant websites but a reference to the author and a live web link to the sites below MUST be displayed

For more information on treating vaginal thrush

If you’re unhappily married and want a divorce

If you’re unhappily married but don’t want to break up your family, go here

Many people carry yeast in and on their bodies without even knowing. It is a natural organism, known as candida albicans, and is normally found in the intestines, vagina, mouth and skin, where ‘friendly’ bacteria help to keep yeast levels low. However, when this balance is disrupted and the yeast is allowed to grow unchecked, it causes havoc in the body.

The vagina is one of the areas most likely to be affected by yeast infections and these are more commonly referred to as thrush. Although the vagina is generally too acidic for yeast to grow out of control, it is sensitive to small changes and can easily become an ideal environment for yeast to flourish. Too much, and the vaginal tissues become irritated, leading to the itching and burning sensations, which are the typical symptoms of thrush.

Most people view thrush, candida and yeast infections as minor problems, exclusive to women. But this is totally incorrect. As many as 75% of humans will be afflicted with one of the many types of this irritation at some point in our lives, whether it be in the form of nappy rash, the white coating on the cheeks and tongue of oral thrush, an itchy weeping sweat rash in a skin fold, or a slight soreness around the tip of the penis which men ignore and can then pass on to their female partners during sex..

For some people, the yeast can proliferate and leech into the bloodstream infesting other parts of the body and releasing toxins which, in addition to the usual vaginal thrush, can also be responsible for causing cystitis, eczema, blotchy skin, dryness, itching, oral thrush, sinus problems, constipation, diarrhea, restless sleep, bloating, lack of energy, mood swings, cravings for sweet food, food allergies and many more.

These yeast spores can remain dormant for years and then suddenly flare up resulting in an outbreak of any of the above. Many health professionals persist in handing out prescriptions that treat only the symptoms and this can result in a return of the infections in ever more virulent forms until they become resistant to the available drugs.

This means that it is down to you to take responsibility for your health and to start investigating the causes. Isolating what it is that worsens the symptoms for you personally.

Repeated doses of antibiotics are a well-known trigger, as is a diet rich in yeast, fungus, sugar and refined, processed produce. The physiological effects of stress are also a major factor in providing an environment which encourages the overgrowth of candida.

Unfortunately, antibiotics are often used to ‘cure’ the problems mentioned previously as being caused by candida and yeast infections so, again, an ever repeating cycle of problem/medication/problem is set in motion.

If you search the internet, you will discover all sorts of natural ‘cures’, but so many of these are replicating the problems with the pharmaceutical method in that they treat the symptoms of thrush, candida and yeast infections, not the root cause.

At the end of the day, you need to make a lifestyle choice and properly address the issues behind your susceptibility to candidiasis.

Known as the perineal raphe, it extends from the anus, through the mid-line of the scrotum (where it becomes the scrotal raphe) and upwards through the posterior mid-line aspect of the penis (to form the penile raphe).

This noticeable line is due to a phenomenon of foetal development where the scrotum (the equivalent of the labia in females) and penis close toward the midline and fuse, causing a ridge of tissue.

Softboy explained to me that this ridge of tissue is formed when the genetic coding decides that the foetus is going to be a boy. If things had gone the other way, then the tissue would have become the lips of the female labia and the tip of the penis would have been her clitoris.

If you look at the upward V formed by the vagina, uterus and fallopian tubes and then correspond them to the upside down V of the penis and balls you can see how it all works.

In cases where the genetic signals become confused, you get babies that have genitals which are neither one thing nor the other and none of it works properly.

Thinking about it in this way, the whole miracle of the formation and gestation of a foetus is quite extraordinary.

But there’s even more to it than that.

There are homophobic arguments about people being “unnaturally” or “pervertedly” gay, or suffering what’s known as ‘body dysmorphia’ – where they have all the characteristics of one gender, but are mentally the other. People also think of Hermaphrodites (from a fusion of Hermes and Aphrodite) as being genetic mutations outside the norm.

The point is that we are all hermaphrodite until a certain point in our development, when the X or Y chromosomes should fulfill their potential towards one gender specific development.

Sometimes, for some reason, either the body develops one way and the mind the other (Body Dysmorphia) or the genes get confused or crossed allowing both sets of genitalia to begin to develop (Hermaphrodite), or everything seems to be ok in the complete gender specific arena, but the sexual interest is towards ones own gender, which could possibly be viewed as very mild body dysmorphia.

The evidence for the completely natural, though incorrectly developed issues above are obvious in the evidential similarities shown not least in the perineal raphe, but also the similarity between the internal and external genitalia as below:

The G-spot in the female and prostate in the male giving deeper and more convulsive pelvic floor orgasms.

The fact that men still have ‘totally useless’ nipples for no apparent reason.

The fact that given heavy doses of steroids which directly trigger hormonal responses, transgender mutations can still be engineered in a person’s hirsuteness, voice tone, and both organ and bone shape.

The type of superficial intensity of the clitoral/glans-penile orgasm.

The appearance of the clitoris (which tumesces – ie: swells under stimulation, out from under a hood) and the penis with its foreskin.

The similarity between the testes, vas diferens (tubes) and the ovaries and fallopian tubes.

In short, we are all more alike than we think, and only genetic irregularity makes any of us stray from the male/female norm….. and being gay, or a man/woman trapped in the other gender’s body is not a perverted choice. It’s just the unfortunate way it is for that being who developed in that way, and has to live in an ignorant society.

For me, it was definitely the latter. A conscious decision to try to make things better. After years of trying to work at my marriage and remaining miserable and unfulfilled, on New Year’s Eve 2004, I vowed that I would find myself a lover who could meet my needs.

I didn’t want to leave my children or my lifestyle, but I did want a man who would love me just for me.

For once in my life, I was going to be selfish and put myself first.

I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.

I had already been through the trauma of an online relationship with a married man with a family, who thought he wanted an affair but, when push came to shove, realised that the actual physicality of such a thing with all those emotions and feelings was just too much for him to deal with.

In the absence of some affection and appreciation from his wife, he wanted the excitement and attention of a virtual relationship. But he couldn’t cope with the additional pressures that this entailed. The sudden understanding that he had these incredible feelings for someone other than the women with whom he had walked down that aisle. The realisation that he was breaking a sacred vow almost without meaning to.

However, a year or two later, I found the man I had been looking for and, as my relationship with him grew, I began to understand that an affair with a single man held equally as many problems, just of a different kind. This was a man who wanted more than to be the equivalent of my ‘mistress’. He didn’t want to be fitted in when I was available. He wanted all of me and a proper committed relationship with a future together.

What I really needed was to have an affair with a married man who understood the rules. That there would be emotional attachment, but that this would in no way impinge upon the feelings that either party had for their spouse. That this was totally separate from that relationship.

An addition.

A bolt-on.

Something to fill the gaps and plug the holes and, hopefully, stave off what might seem to be the inevitable descent into the void of divorce.

A decision made by grown ups, who didn’t want to run away from their familial commitments but for whom something more was a necessity if they were to continue to fulfil those responsibilities. To be unfaithful, but in a more controlled way than just trawling the internet looking for love and without having to deal with all the problems that go with such unfettered infidelity.

At a time of year when a lot of people will be taking stock and making resolutions, think very carefully about what it is that you wish for… as opposed to what you actually need.

Apparently, as with paracetamol-based products and cough medicines, we need to be protected from ourselves and our addictions.

I fail to see how taking it off the shelf and making it dispensary-only is really going to stop people from using them for nefarious purposes, specifically those suffering with eating disorders.

What we really need is for more information to be available on the subject. For those of us who have trodden this well worn path over many years to educate those who follow in our footsteps. And, hopefully, to prevent them from making the same mistakes and suffering the same long term health consequences.

For anyone who thinks that laxatives are a good idea for dieting, the many years of intestinal difficulty that I suffered as a result of taking that route to facilitate my own eating disorder should provide a stark warning.

In my late teens and early twenties, I was both bulimic and anorexic. Mostly, I would eat nothing and use the laxatives to lose more weight but, if I did binge, I went through purging myself by putting my fingers into my mouth and activating the gag reflex until I vomited.

This is a totally disgusting process, which rots your teeth and just makes you feel permanently nauseous.

After several months of this, I could bear it no longer and moved onto laxatives to do the job more discreetly.

As a result, my poor bowels never really knew where they were.

Sure, it seemed to work for a while but then my system just became totally confused.

I was either completely constipated, with the waste building back up through my system and causing terrible bloating which only added to my distorted perception of my own body.

Alternatively, my stools were so loose that I was terrified to go out for fear of soiling myself.

However, my body dysmorphia meant that I persisted in this ridiculous routine of starving and purging myself.

Then followed the worst symptoms. The acute stomach cramps every time I did try to eat something. These were so painful that I couldn’t walk. My gut would go into spasm, causing my belly to distend. I wanted to be sick and to defecate to ease the painful swelling but was unable to do either.

Although I only used the laxatives regularly for a year or so, these problems continued for decades afterwards, even during the time periods when I thought my anorexia was under control.

IBS and Crohns Disease were all suspected at various times, but now I know that a lot of it was triggered by my reliance on laxatives.

The damage this did to my intestinal walls was exacerbated by my predominantly bread-based diet and stressful lifestyle. The candida (gut bacteria) proliferated and leeched through into other parts of my body, causing thrush and other yeast infections.

After suffering with this for many years, I have chosen to try the anti-candida diet for the last few months and start making my gut more healthy by taking probiotics.

I haven’t used a laxative for over twenty years, but only now that my diet has improved have I actually started to recover from the damage that my prolific use of them caused.

For information on treating thrush, candida and yeast infections, click here

However, I have to face facts. I’m getting older. The Menopause is fast approaching along with the possibility of the long arms of her hormone-deficient outriders: loss of libido, vaginal atrophy and bladder weakness.

Having had my children by Caesarean section, I’m very lucky. I don’t automatically wee myself when I sneeze or laugh. However, I have noticed a lack of sensitivity in terms of my pelvic and core muscles due to having them cut and stitched back together more than once. I have also suffered a lot with frequency-related cystitis and, if my bladder is full, I am conscious that I have to really concentrate to hold on to everything when I make a sudden involuntary movement.

So, when I stumbled upon a site whose main purpose was to provide the means to eradicate this bane of so many women’s lives, I was intrigued.

Code – SNM8796
Promotion – 5% Off
Expires – 31st January 2010.

The products at Stress No More focus on health and wellbeing, with particular emphasis on the female pelvic floor but also addressing male incontinence. Because it’s not just confined to us ladies. For men of a certain age, prostate malfunction can cause similar problems.

The current featured weapon in this on-going battle is the new Kegel 8 machine. This is a bit like a TENS machine in that it exudes an electrical pulse onto the required muscle in order to stimulate it. Scientific studies have shown that this type of electrical stimulation of the pelvic floor muscles can improve the tone and performance of the area, thus reducing urge and frequency problems as well as helping with sensitivity and other sexual issues that can be adversely affected by the rise and fall of the different hormone levels of Menopause.

The Kegel 8 literature explains:

The aim of Kegel exercises is to restore muscle tone and strength to the pubococcygeus muscles (PC muscles) in order to prevent or reduce pelvic floor problems and to increase sexual satisfaction. Kegel exercises have been proven to help in the treatment of vaginal prolapse and preventing uterine prolapse in women, bladder weakness and poor sexual response.

The Kegel8 Pelvic Exerciser makes sure you exercise safely and efficiently, and results will be apparent in just a few weeks. The adage of “use it or lose it” is certainly true for women and their pelvic floor muscles, with Kegel8 improved pelvic health is easily achievable, and the benefits are amazing in all areas of a woman’s life.

Basically, it’s a small probe that can be inserted either vaginally or rectally. You should apply the special lubricant to aid insertion and conductivity. Then plug the leads into the main body of the machine and select your programme. There are eight different workouts for varying degrees of problem plus three do-it-youself plans.

I used the device each day over the Easter break whilst staying with Ruf and have continued to make the time daily upon my return. Normally the week following my visit would see me trying to fight off a bad attack of cystitis so I’m looking forward to discovering if the Tight and Tone can improve my muscle tone sufficiently to prevent this.

So far, I am very impressed and I can definitely feel some differences down there. Full explanation of using the device to follow next week and a proper progress report in May when, hopefully, the man himself will give his verdict during our next encounter.

In the meantime, Stress No More’s pelvic exercising products were mentioned on the Channel 4 programme ‘Embarrassing Bodies’ this week as part of their campaign to ‘Use it or Lose it’ vis a vis our pelvic floors. If you want to have a look at the programme online plus the reviews have a look here and skip to about 40 minutes. Basically, the electrically stimulating devices seemed to produce the best results and were the easiest to use.

If you do feel that you would like to purchase something from their large range of pelvic muscle stimulants, I would be really grateful if you could do so via my affiliate link.

For those of you in the US, this product is approved by the FDA but can only be sold there under prescription. However, many American women have ordered direct from StressNoMore in the UK, so you can still use this link. Postage is £20 by Swiftair for quick delivery.

Code – SNM8796
Promotion – 5% Off
Expires – 31st January 2010